Swingers Lifestyle FAQ Lowcountry Swingers
Swingers Lifestyle FAQ Lowcountry Swingers
What exactly is swinging?
Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships.
Swinging (otherwise known as "the lifestyle" or "the Alternative Lifestyle) can take a variety of different forms. Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies from club to club. Although female bisexuality is generally accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies from club to club. . Newspapers and magazines which carry personal ads for swingers also exist, and to a slightly lesser degree these publications may also be considered an aspect of "the lifestyle." Swingers have traditionally been largely middle to upper class and tend to blend in quite easily with the general population in terms of appearance and ideology.
Swinging can be every bit as erotic, exciting and fulfilling as you imagine it to be. You can explore many of your favorite fantasies - safely. You can engage in private, intimate sexual activity, share your mate in a threesome, enjoy another couple, or engage in group swinging - all in one evening!! You can make new friends and meet interesting people. Swinging also has the potential of greatly enhancing your primary relationship and personal life.
Swinging is not for everyone however. A positive feeling about yourself, your mate, and primary relationship is important. People who are jealous, play social games, have a poor opinion of the opposite sex, or have relationship problems are among those who are not likely to enjoy swinging.
Swinging is a social activity. Whether attending a party, meeting with another couple privately, or engaging with a single person for a threesome, the participants talk with one another, eat, drink and laugh - all with the purpose of becoming acquainted in order to sexually enjoy one another. Sexual activity may or may not follow however. Many swingers have swinging friends they have known for months, even years, that they have not been sexually involved with. Private clubs and party houses offer a place to gather to swing. The environment is meant to be one of social warmth and belonging. It is pleasurable to meet new people, friends, and acquaintances at a party. Pleasant memories come from lounging, perhaps partially dressed or nude, in a group around the fireplace; talking, listening to music, laughing and warming up to another. This may happen in a hot tub or pool as well. When these social experiences are complimented by enjoyable sexual experience, the appeal of swinging is understood.
Though some couples who swing have open marriages and have swinging dates apart, the majority of couples do not date separately. They see swinging as an activity/lifestyle to enjoy together, as a part of their relationship.
What are the differnet types of Swinging?
There are no hard and fast rules in swinging, but every couple and individual has their own ideas about what they want it to be and how far the wish to take it.
Soft Swinging is a term used for couples and individuals that only wish to give and receive oral stimulation with others and not full penetrative sex. Soft swinging can sometimes mean that couples wish to remain with their own partners but the females have sexual interaction between each other.
Closed Swinging is a term used when couples swap partners and have sexual intercourse in separate rooms. Another term that can be used for this is wife swapping.
Open Swinging is a term used when couples swap partners and have sexual intercourse in the same room or bed and interact together to create a group sex environment.
What about swinger's clubs?
Swinger's clubs are a great way to explore the lifestyle without having to venture into the intimacy of someone's home or feel pressured to participate. They are a place to meet other like-minded couples and where flirtatious and playful attitudes are welcomed.
Swinger Clubs are commercial operations that cater to the lifestyle crowd. Typically on-premises clubs advertise, are open to the public, and charge for admittance. . There is usually a buffet, a dance floor, and music. You'll probably see several televisions with adult movies being shown and people in various states of dress in the open areas (the dance floor and bar areas)...from business suits to lingerie.
With very few exceptions, the clubs will encourage newcomers an opportunity to take an escorted tour of the facilities after paying the door fee and offer a refund if you decide that you don't want to stay Each club is run differently, so be sure to ask.
Almost all clubs restrict entry depending on the day of the week. You'll usually find a week night that is for ladies only, couples-only nights, and introductory nights. Single women are usually admitted for free anytime. Sorry guys...unfair, but that's the way it is.
In most swingers clubs there are a variety if facilities including heated pool, Jacuzzi's and saunas as well as a large voyeurs rooms.
You will probably be primarily interested in the larger voyeurs room with mattresses on the floor where several couples can play more or less in public view. Playing in these public areas more or less invites participation by passers-by, but as with all activities at any lifestyle event, consensual play is the rule. Ask politely before you venture into the fray. All the rules of good behavior apply. If you are pushy, rude, or unwelcome, you will know it immediately.
Usually you must disrobe to enter these areas and changing facilities with lockers are often provided. There will usually be a helpful attendant who will get you clean towels and locate a locker for you. After disrobing, you may enter the play areas and explore. Having guests disrobe encourages participation and discourages gawkers.
There may be several private rooms with a beds and fresh linens where you can enjoy yourselves in a more private setting. The attendant will ensure that the linens are changed and that the room is clean between uses.
Off-premises clubs are very similar in all respects, except that there are no private play areas. Off-premises clubs are more for meeting others in the lifestyle and then making your own party from there, either at someone's home or a nearby hotel. Many people who feel uncomfortable with an on-premises club will find an off-premises club more casual and less intimidating. There are many more off-premises clubs than on-premises ones. The cost of membership and door fees are usually much less than with on-premises clubs.
All clubs have their own rules, and please be sure to ask about them so you don't unintentionally violate any. Drugs are forbidden...no one wants to be raided by the police, arrested, and paraded in the local papers. If you use drugs, do so on your own turf and at your own risk. Don't jeopardise the club or homeowner and the other guests. It's selfish and simply unacceptable.
What should I expect on my first time at a Club?
Make sure you research the club and read any reviews first, or get personal recommendations prior to going to a club. Most clubs require you to book in advance, therefore make sure you read their website so you are aware of exactly what is required of you.
Take time to read the rules of the club, they all differ slightly but the main point remains the same RESPECT is the most important thing in swinging.
Its important to choose the right club the first time, you need to find a club which has a no pressure environment which means that you are able to go along and just watch if you are not ready to actually play.
Playing with each other at a club is also a good way to start, you will soon find that someone will come along and ask to join you and if you feel ready say yes, if you are not ready simply say no, they will not be offended.
Most of all relax and enjoy the experience.
Swinging has probably gone on since the dawn of time. Many cultures hold no stigma to the sharing of married partners, the Inuit tribe of Alaska being an example. But the beginnings of modern swinging is not known. It was first reported by the media as "wife-swapping" in the 1950's in the wealthier suburbs of Johannesburg and larger centres, where husbands reportedly tossed their house keys into a pile in the centre of the room where they were drawn at random by the wives. The owner of a selected key was the sexual partner for the evening. It is a colourful but probably fanciful story, not as common or wide spread as the media would have wanted us to believe.
Swinging quietly evolved in many parts of the United States, particularly in the Berkeley - San Francisco and Hollywood - Los Angeles areas, Chicago and perhaps New York City. One of the earliest swing clubs, was The Group, later called the In Crowd, in Orange County, California.
Initially, personal ads were the only way to meet people in this particular lifestyle; the first organisation to be open about swinging was the Sexual Freedom League (in Berkeley, California during the 1960's). Eventually, an umbrella organisations and Swingers Clubs and Associations were formed to promote accurate information about the lifestyle all across the world.
Today, Swinging is rapidly becoming an accepted lifestyle and organised swinging can be found in most countries , with the greatest numbers of registered participants to be found in the United States, populous areas of Canada, parts of England, France, Switzerland, Germany and Japan. In addition, there are growing numbers in Australia, New Zealand and South Africa who mostly swing privately with friends and others met through personal ads in swing publications. However with the recent development of Swingers Clubs in recent years numbers are increasing at alarming speed. Many swing clubs now offer group discussions ,workshops and travel in addition to regular swing parties and socials.
Computers and the Internet are fast become the most important tools for swingers. With its globalwide reach and instant communication it will probably replace the magazines and personal ad papers in the next few years. Soon most all personal ads and swinging information will be available in the World Wide Web.
Currently the internet is becoming an alternative to printed personal ads, and the variety of large swinger's conventions are being held every year in Western Countries as well as the Far East bear testimony to the extraordinary growth in this alternative lifestyle. Popular conventions include "SwingFest" (the largest and most well-known), "Wind and Waves", "Campout", "Northwest Celebration", and "Visions". Popular swingers holiday destinations and cruises are constantly being developed to cater for the tremendous demand around the world with some of the most prominent of the worlds companies (Cunnard, Sandals and others) at the forefront catering to this growing market.
My best guess as to the future is that as more people begin to think of themselves as "open-minded" and "sex-positive", as our response to STD's becomes more rational, as more people from other sex-positive communities begin to explore swinging, and as more bisexual men and women in the community "come out", the swinging community will grow and begin to attract a new generation of sexually adventurous enthusiasts. I suspect that the size and influence of the annual swinging conventions will continue to grow, and also suspect that "cyberspace" alternatives to real-life swinging (involving interactive video, sound, etc.) will become increasingly popular.
Swinging has come a long way since the early days of the 1950's. It is probable today that more new people begin swinging yearly than the combined number of the first two decades of modern swinging.
A published report by two well-known sociologists predicted that 15% to 25% of all American married couples would adopt swinging as part of their lifestyle during some period of their marriage.
